Love you forever, BLiNK TORRES

No words could describe the loss i feel over blink, my first love and my baby.

When i got sick, i was worried who will take care of blink when im gone, and what's his life be, missing me.

I just can't believe blink left me. Died before me. I'm gonna miss him everyday of my life until we meet again. At least there is something good to look forward to about dying.

I miss my baby so much. I wish I was there to take care of him. I had to give him up because i cannot take care of him anymore, because he could get me sick.

I wish it took care of my baby. and i thought we grow old together and die together too. omg im crying again. i really do miss him.

i'm so sorry blink for not taking care of you, when i couldn't take care of you.

Sabot bya ta ha taman pa ka 11. and you were still 7... but siguro it was better because you are not loved as you should be.. im so sorry i failed you.

thank you for the memories. and for your furry friendship.. i love you so so much..

me and parcy will miss you so much.

blink...

CORRECT!

NOT FUNNY

i had to edit my previous posts and delete the many HAHAHA on it cause when i reread it, what i just said wasn't really funny at all and it gets annoying reading the hahaha every paragraph.

makes me think the writer ( oh wait thats me. hehe see here it goes again) is crazy or something.

well i am crazy. just trying not to sound like one. :D

oh smiley na lang instead of hahaha to let you know i am amused of what i just said.

saturday night live

haay it's saturday and i have no friends on my phonebook i could call for some night out.

OMG, did i just become an old miser without me noticing?

i remember my life, from decades ago, hahahaha, with friends at bay, where we go out to grab some late night snacks. not really a night out at the club or bar, we're not the types, just a night trip to the neighborhood 24 hours store.

haay i have been wanting ice cream since early this evening and i was wishful thinking my friends are available and nearby but they aren't. they live far away and they are all so settled i find it a shame that i am not in that state too..

yeah i am being mellow right now all because i want to go out and eat.

so anway i guess i am making new friends with people i mingle a lot these days and it's time to reconnect to old friends i seemed to have lost touch since EXSO and i were together. haha

i am thinking of enrolling to something again just to have something to look forward to besides waiting for work to start.. definitely not law. hahaha definitely not within the premises of MSU-IIT.. at ICI, perhaps? OMG ivy would kill me.. ICI dili ka magmahay, i am going. maybe.

it's 9pm and i still want ice cream or that starbucks frap in a bottle but it's too expensive it costs P120 that i'd just mix me some nescafe sachet and lots of cream in cold water. hahaha. kacheapan!

last thought for the day... i so want to be rich?! and i need to act fast!

somwhere over the rainbow

the beach has always fascinated me. i was supposed to have a beach trip last summer (as in recently lang. ) with friends and someone dear but cancelled last minutes for health reasons.

now i wished i did go to that summer trip. it would have been my first trip away from home after i started being sick. and i was going to be with my friends, and with SO. that would have been a blast.

but now, summer has passed, and so has SO. twinks.

the one thing i feared when the year started has come, that is, spending the rest of the year alone again..

but then again, i find solace in being alone. it's not so bad being alone. well it is bad, but not so much..

one thing i realized, i am still alive. hurrah to that!!

and now i have all the time in the world to spend to myself. which gets boring too sometimes. joke..

i guess it's that point of my life where i explore the world with another set of glasses.. hahaha well literally i have new shades. but what i mean is that, after what i have gone through, i see the world with a fresh perspective. i hope wiser this time.

do i make sense, i don't know.

home is where the heart is

it's a weekend, and the loner that i am, well i am alone.

why am i surprised at this, i don't know.

i have been this way for a long time but i don't know why im not used to this.

wait, i was with a partner for a quarter of a year.. but that's history. back to the topic.

so i got the whole place to myself and i have yet to clean some parts of it.

definitely my room is a mess with all the meds i bought early this morning.

work, i am still waiting for instructions. but it's nice to have something to look forward to.

and i paid the bills, not with my money, but with mom's.. i hope next month i could help pay the bills already.

so many things lined up to buy or pay for.. hahaha but i wanted to pay some of my medications though. or cover my allowance so i won't have to ask for it.

oh yeah i am loving this template now.. finally i found one that fits what i envisioned this blog would be. but the music would not play. will have to figure that out yet.

PS the music works! oh this is perfect! :D



o

new template

but not really!

this is the same template of my other blog, which im shy of sharing. hahaha

___________My Journey to Forgiving and Forgetting.. so you get an idea what it's all about.

but i love the song playing there, maybe i'd post it here but not on autoplay because i post vids here.

It's wrong but i do it anyway

There are things you know deep in your heart is wrong but that same heart wants you to do it anyway.

Yeah it betrays you like that.

Oh i love this line from the previous video i posted....

YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE ON MY WILLINGNESS TO DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE.

OMG, i just could totally relate to the line. hahaha

RELATE!

The song and video are so hearbreaking.. and i just could relate to the lyrics. hahaha

the first video is the english version of the song.. which is a bit different from the english translation of the second video but nevertheless relatable and soo heartbreakingly true.

the second video is the official music video of the song with english subtitle.. the story is even more heartbreaking i couldn't help but cry a bit everytime i watch this.

the melody is so haunting that before i liked the whole song and video without even knowing a single word of what it means.

so now, enjoy, i hope you like this one too :D

Just Another Day

Nothing grand today. Woke up at 9 thinking Girlie would come over. showed up at 3.30. haha!

So anyway i cooked lunch (eggplant with pork) for the cousins and dozed off after lunch.

Girlie came and had some girly talk.. hahaha and some serious moments too.

Dinner time, and i cooked escabeche as requested by the cousins.

My day lit up with a chatbox popping but the conversation didn't end well so now i am fuming mad and as a result made this blog to chronicle my life (that life where i am not nursing or is it nurturing a heartbreak?)

i could share this blog, posted it on twitter.. because this isn't throw-up inducing.

and yes, my life soundtrack the past days is provided by the beatles... and someone greatly influencial introduced the band to me.. hahaha.. (sandy stop it.. lol)

that's basically it for today.

Oh yeah, i have work today for my bosses. and my day doesn't feel so unproductive.

ain't that for a change???

Starting Over

The past days I have been reading the blog i made when I was in college. and i find it reading my past through the mind of what, 21 year old me. that's like 5 years past! i am glad i made that entries to somehow keep the memory of my life at that time.

so now, i am doing the same. I am at the third of my life (if i was healthy. hahaha) but this probably is the golden age of my young life.

just something to keep a memory of me, for loved ones to read long after i am gone. dramz!

fingers crossed, I hope i could keep posting.

PS. I need to find a nice template though. this is just temporary